Most of life’s difficult events are a learning opportunity. Going through a divorce is no exception. While it is hard to end a marriage, it can be even harder to walk away without having learned a life lesson or two. Our hope is that your divorce results are satisfactory to you and work for your family, while also preparing you for what lies ahead. Whether your future holds a new romance, or reconnecting with your kids, we are here to help.
The list is long and usually case specific on what can be learned about marriage from getting divorced, but the top five lessons include:
- A relationship that was not at its best prior to marriage is not going to get any better. We all have certain visions about what our married life will look like, and it is important to avoid falling into the trap of making just any person fit that picture. Rather than trying to make someone change to be what you’ve envisioned, it is better to find a mate that already possesses many of the qualities you desire. If you try to change your spouse after marriage, you are only setting yourself up for disappointment and possible divorce.
- Getting married is the easy party, but undoing a marriage is hard work. The issues that must be resolved at divorce are hard issues. Figuring out where the kids will live and who gets what pieces of property is not something anyone prepares for when they are planning a wedding. And, as hard as it might seem to figure out a seating chart for your reception, figuring out who pays what bills after divorce is infinitely more difficult.
- Marriages are constantly evolving. If you are unable to recognize the qualities within yourself and your spouse that initially drew you together, it will be hard to make a marriage that lasts.
- Make sure you are ready to get married before you walk down the aisle. For some people, this takes longer than others. If you still have things you want to do, and places you want to go on your own before getting married; do it! The alternative is to give up on some of the things you wanted out of life, and that can cause resentment that may lead to divorce. Talk about your desires with your spouse, and make sure you are on the same page before tying the knot.
- Take steps to grow together rather than apart, this is especially important for couples that get married young. It is beneficial to understand that you will not be the same person you are today in twenty years from today, and if you marry someone who grows in a different direction, you could find yourself married to a stranger.
Of course each case is different, and our job is to help you through divorce in the way that works for you. We will listen to your needs, and take steps to make sure those needs are met. Contact our office today to find out more about marriage and divorce.
For more information about divorce, contact our office. Let us put our experience to work for you. Call The Sampair Group in Phoenix and the West Valley today to schedule your appointment.