Learning Your Lessons: From Your Divorce to Your Second Marriage

Things don’t always work out the first time. We live and we learn. And it’s important to know that we do learn. As you move into your second marriage, you might want to consider some lessons that you learned from your divorce.

Don’t Get Married Until You’re Ready

Not every divorce is the result of a rushed marriage. But a lot of them are.

Consider pre-marital counseling before you get married, rather than marital counseling after. Pre-marital counseling is designed to go over some of the most critical topics of marriage, so you don’t get blindsided by issues later on. It’s better to rely upon a professional now, when you’re just starting on your journey, then later, during another divorce.

Always Start with a Prenuptial Agreement

A prenuptial agreement protects both you and your future spouse. It’s better that you decide on what’s “fair” between the two of you now, when everything is amicable, and when you are low stress, rather than later, when things are “blowing up.” A prenuptial agreement must be fair; if it’s unconscionably tilted toward one person or the other, it will be thrown out. So, it’s really legal protection for both parties.

Take Full Stock of Your Assets and Debts

The truth is that marriage today is primarily a financial and legal event. You’re already in love and you’re already living your lives together. In the eyes of the government, what marriage does is change your tax status and make it so that your properties (at least, some of your properties) are shared. So, before you even step into marriage, take a full stock of what you’re bringing into it.

Talk About the Children

If you both don’t want children, this isn’t a big deal. But if you do, you should have some foundational discussions about what might happen if you both split. And if you strongly disagree, take note. Finances can be messy during a divorce. Child custody is often messier. It’s a complicated topic and it’s one that should be thoroughly explored before you tie the knot.

And Don’t Forget to Talk to Your Friends and Family

We often find that after a divorce, the people around us were more aware of our problems than we were. If you have a trusted confidant, don’t be afraid to talk to them about any concerns or insecurities that you might have — with the understanding of your future spouse. They may be able to give you some insights that you’re too close to the situation to see.

A second marriage should be a joyous occasion. You’ve learned your lessons and you’re ready to try again. But that doesn’t mean that you should go in blind. There are a lot of things to consider first. You should always consider involving a professional today rather than having to involve a professional tomorrow. Contact The Sampair Group for more information!