Co-Parenting When Communication is Difficult

Co-parenting is often challenging. However when you have an ex who is very difficult to communicate with, co-parenting becomes infinitely more difficult.  Co-parenting is essential in helping your child thrive after divorce. When parents can communicate and work together, children feel more secure after the end of the marriage. Successful co-parenting is built on trust and open communication, so making it work when communication breaks down is not ideal. If you are in this situation, you have to do the best you can under the circumstances. Follow these tips to improve or manage your situation.

• See a counselor.  It might sound crazy to go to family counseling after you are divorced, but seeing a counselor with the very narrow purpose of improving parental communication can provide strategies and tools that can help you find ways to work together for the benefit of your child. Communication is often a problem in divorce and learning how to improve it can make parenting in the years ahead much easier.
• Change your behavior.  You might not be able to change the way your ex behaves or communicates, but you can alter your own reactions and behavior. Your ex might push your buttons but you can temper your response to defuse the situation. It might seem unfair that you should have to change when it is your ex who has the problem, but if you want your own life to be easier, this will create a change in your relationship dynamics.
• Use avoidance. Avoiding the situations and discussions that cause difficulty can help the same arguments and issues from tripping you up. Sometimes you have to accept that you can’t change some things.
• Take a business approach. Treat your ex like a person you have a business transaction with. This means keeping your ex at arm’s length, focusing on handing your business together, and maintaining and an impersonal and unemotional interaction. Only discuss the issues related to the children. Often the ex wants to engage in other discussions regarding blame or your past relationship together. Most of the time these “discussion” are exhausting and unnecessary. Talk about the children, not the past.

When you are facing a divorce or custody case, you need a law firm that understands your needs. The Sampair Group provides personalized legal assistance in the Mesa or Glendale areas of Arizona. Our attorneys are ready to work for you.