Co-Parenting Through Conflict

If you’ve been reading about co-parenting after divorce you know that it’s all about communication. Working together as parents means putting your child’s best interests first and finding a way to work together to meet them. Successful co-parents are able to talk about their child and make decisions together. Successful co-parents redefine their relationship as parenting partners and work together in this new relationship.

That’s all great if you’re able to communicate, but what if you can’t? If every conversation turns into argument, if your ex won’t take your calls, if your ex always breaks her promises, or if you just can’t trust him to put your child’s needs first, what do you do? It’s still possible to move forward with a little work.

One of the best things you can do is go to a counselor together. Your marriage might be over, but your parenting relationship will continue forever. A professional can help you create new rules, boundaries, and patterns. It can be very hard to see a way forward if you’re still stuck in the same time-old conflicts. A therapist can reframe your relationship so you can actually work together.

If your ex isn’t interested in getting help, there are still some things that you personally can do. You can’t change how your ex thinks, reacts, and behaves, but you do have complete control of your own responses. You may be able to break the patterns if you change how you react. A counselor can help you personally navigate these new waters as a co-parent and change the way your interactions go.

If necessary, you can control your contact with your ex so that you only communicate by text or email, giving you time to think and react carefully. Approaching your ex like a difficult business contact can help you remain calm and stay focused on the parenting task at hand.

Call the Sampair Group for assistance with your divorce, custody or custody modification case in Glendale, Mesa and Phoenix, Arizona. We’re ready to help you today.