No matter what kind of methods of discipline you use, nothing will be effective if it is not consistent. This is especially true when it comes to being a divorced parent that is co-parenting with another parent, meaning an entirely new set of challenges. Family law and child custody lawyers at The Sampair Group understand the importance of setting limits and giving effective consequences in not just one household, but both, in order for the child to grow up in a stable environment. Here are some tips for maintaining this disciplinary necessity.
It’s all too common for a parent to hear something along the lines of, “why can’t I eat ice cream after lunch? Dad let’s me do it!” After this response, you may immediately want to react with some choice words about the other parent and things can get out of hand, resulting in a very unproductive conversation. Before flipping the handle and making assumptions about how lenient your ex may be with your children, check with them first to confirm this. Kids may often try and play both ends against each other in order to bend the rules made for them. Communicating with the other parent may reveal that the child is making up some or the entire story.
Even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye with your ex, make an effort to identify what you do agree on when it comes to discipline, such as bedtimes and snacks they are or aren’t allowed to have. The way you each do things won’t always be exactly the same, and some things they do may not be what you want, and vice versa. But even if you don’t agree with the other parent’s view, do not contradict or undermine the authority they have over your kids, as they are still the parent.
Divorce brings about a lot of changes in the lives of parents and their children. But it is important to let them know that life is going to be okay and even though things may be different in the household, they should know what to expect when they are staying at each home. Sometimes using charts, calendars or other ways of organizing things can help keep your child stay on track and it will keep life predictable for them. This will make transition from one home to the other much easier.
Focusing on what you can control in your home instead of what you can’t control outside of your home will make the entire situation more positive for your child. For more information on family and child custody law, contact a Glendale family law attorney at The Sampair Group.